Lumpy Rug

So. Tonight at work I walked into the bathroom and into the first stall when I saw this (the top picture) and became overly excited because I could go buy a pop with this bill I just found. Then I realized the bill looked funny and smaller. At first I thought it was just a fake, make believe, toy money, but I flipped it over, just being curious. “Disappointed?” it taunted. “Jesus won’t let you down. Make Jesus Christ Lord of your life!” SCREW YOU. I reject your religion because leaving fake money in a bathroom stall where my hopes will soar sky high is a very, very low jerk move. Thanks, you ruined my night (but also kind of made it because the whole thing was rather amusing). After that I checked the other stalls to see if there was any other Jesus money, in the hopes to write something funny about buying pop with money which in fact bought happiness, but there wasn’t.

Disappointed?
Jesus won’t let you down.
Make Jesus Christ Lord of your life!

For God so loved the WORLD that He gave HIs only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

God provides us with things money can’t buy.
… love, joy, peace, goodness, faith, gentleness, self control. Gal 5:22-23

Pray to receive Jesus into your heart!

Dear Jesus, I repent from my old ways (Peter 3:9)
Please be the Lord of my life.
I ask that you come into my heart and help me live through you.
Thank you for dying on the cross to save me!
I believe God raised you from the dead and I thank you for the hope of heaven and my salvation.

Jul 10th / Tagged: money funny god jesus Religion atheist heaven lol FUCK YOU / 2 notes †

20 plays

This is what I listened to on the way to school today. I was laughing my ass off the whole time. I love this.

Oct 13th / Tagged: The Fray Hips Don't Lie cover funny / 12 notes †

Question: What irritates you most about Alex?
Matt: He’s always late. He’s like clockwork in his lateness. Yesterday in Southhampton, the bus was picking us up at half 12 at the hotel to go to the venue, and [tour manager] Timm phoned him, goes, ‘Al, where are you? The bus is here.’ Everybody knew what time they had to be down there. He said, ‘I’m watching Danger Mouse’. He was still in bed.

Oct 7th / Tagged: funny lol Arctic Monkeys interview Matt Helders Alex Turner / 69 notes †